Im behind on my gift giving. Its December 18th and i havent purchased a single gift.

My family always feeds me the line that i dont have to buy gifts for anyone if i dont want to, but i know the truth. You see i have nieces, and nephews , and you try telling THEM that times are hard, and they didnt get shit for Christmas. The same Christmas they've been getting hyped up for months about. I dont know about anyone else, but im not in the buisness of breeding little serial killers... not getting anything for Christmas is enough to push some people over the edge years down the line. Ill pass.

Then theres Mom (and that might mark the first time in my entire life , ive called my mother "Mom"). Id never hear the end of it if she didnt get anything. Usually not hearing the end of something is not a cause for me to care, but Christmas guilt is an entirely different subject matter...

Shoulda been raised Muslim or somethin...

This is actually gong to be the first Christmas ive spent at home in 3 years. I dont quite know how to feel about that, as the last two Christmases werent bad in the least bit, though i felt a little out of my element. I was thankful to be away from home (which at the time was the equivalent of hell on earth for me), but I always felt very different from the people i was around. Im not a "holiday" kind of person. I dont revel in having mad family around, and opening gifts in front of everyone, and christmas breakfast, and all those things.I never had it when i was younger, so its a foreign concept to me now. Half of it is contrived and fake anyway, and i never was one to pretend. Just leave me alone...

Fa-la-fucking la.

(edit:// 1:44pm - Im not really grumpy at all at the moment. Spending money i dont have doesnt exactly make me jovial however...but dont take any of the above the wrong way..i love my family...except for my brother right now, cause that ass owes me $40. THAT bastard is getting COAL and a dvd copy of Scrooge for Christmas...)