I had a dream the other night, that I fought a demon. Its actually not the first time, although normally, i just run like hell and close my eyes tighter, hoping he cant catch up. This time was different though...i fought back, and...actually he really didnt get very much in on the offensive side of things. In fact i kicked his ass. Royally. Im not sure if it meant what i thought it meant, but i woke up in a much better mood than i had been in , since this whole saga started. With that out of the way...

Im over it. Well as much as i get over anything. Im over it for today. For right now. Anyone that knows me, knows that the only thing i hold better than a grudge is my...nevermind. Point is ive simmered down on the thoughts of vengeance, and mayhem. Though the suggestions of revenge and retribution suggested by my dear friends were appreciated, i wont need them at this particular moment. At least not today... I say "today" because tomorrow is a new day, with a whole new set of things to be angry and bitter about.

Thing is, i have so many other things i have to concentrate on. Pretty much everything that could possible go wrong, in one month, went wrong for me, going into March. Maybe i shouldnt look at it as going "wrong" so much as going in a completely opposite direction than i wanted to.

After being so detailed and planning out each step carefully, it seems that my plans still got screwed to hell. I couldnt have forseen the issues i would have with my new job - obviously if i had , i wouldnt have quit the old one. This throws me back to step one, because a.) im not working, and b.) im beginning to get low on funds. That equation is a quick ticket to the State of Depression, population - usually me and my 2 other personalities.

For whatever reason though , im not about to get too distraught over it. I havent exactly been in he greatest of moods lately, but, i suppose its nothing that i cant change. THe chain of events leading up to all this couldnt have been anything BUT some sort of fate. That much never goes wrong, at the same time. I feel alot better saying it was "fate" and it happened for a reason, rather than saying "hey i fucked up." You should try it sometimes. When things get all screwed , and there seems like no way out, just say things like "hey...it could get worse," or "it happened for a reason..." or any other cliche you can think of. It makes it alot easier to stomach. Either way i cant spend too much time thinking about the mistakes i (never) made, or what (never) happened.

Lets look at the positive here - I gained a new nemesis (or an old nemesis, depending on your point of view). While that may not be a positive to you dear reader, it is to me. Any inspiration is better than no inspiration. Thank you, backstabbing sons of bitches - you got about 2500 words out of me that would have never been released otherwise.

See? Anything can be positive if you look at it the right way...

My vision aint exactly 20/20 yet though...